It is incredibly daunting leaving a perfectly happy and content life right here.  It’s very ironic because Benjam, Skye, and even Sammie-Sam provide a source of strength and courage I wouldn’t otherwise have.  There is very little chance that I would ever move or travel to a foreign country on my own.  I’ve never had the desire, wherewithal, or courage to make it happen.  On the other hand, their presence and well-being source most of the worry as well.  I have tossed and turned, left and right, center and back, left and right again about it all and have so many questions and doubt. However, once I dig past the layers of nerves, quietly listen to my gut and reflect, all is still and I finally feel confident again.  I keep coming back to this gut feeling and it keeps me going until I have another restless night.

Me and my gut have a very close relationship and I listen to it intensely and unquestionably as it has never let me down.   When I was a little girl I never dreamed about being a mom or a career women or anything else, I just always wanted to be.  Now that I have my family, I realize that I have everything of value that this life could ever possibly offer.  I do love my job, and to make a small contribution to society in some minuscule way—even if it is merely supporting brilliant minds—is enticing, don’t get me wrong, but without my heart and soul it would be for naught.

In addition to my family, I do have a really great support system already over there.  I have known my boss for almost ten years and we have moved past these work definitions.  He’s seen my cry for hell’s sake (not that that’s too shocking since I cry when I get nervous—very professional, I know).  I simply adore his family and I trust that he would always be there in a tight spot.  Another colleague has already set up shop and he is proving to be a very solid mate.  Of course I also can’t forget the family and friends we are leaving behind, and the backbone of support they provide is completely necessary to this adventure as well.

I know there are fantastic friends to be met, yummy wines to be drunk, and beautiful places to explore.  All with my best friend, angelic daughter, and clueless dog in tow.

Sigh.  OK, I feel better now and hopefully I can get some sleep.

Americans can live in Slovakia for 90 days without papers.  So once we get there we’ll have to apply for a work visa and temporary residency.  To do that over there, over here we need to get a copy of our criminal records, certified copies of our birth certificates, proof of insurance and a passport for Skye.

Once we get there, Michal is still not quite sure where we’ll be staying temporarily until we can find a flat (oooh, I’m already so European!).  Because we’re taking Sam, things are infinitely more complicated.  We can’t stay with him because they just got a kitty.  We can’t stay at the Academy, because they are the size of my bathroom.  We may be able to stay at his sister’s summer house, but we’ll have to see, since we have a dog and she may not approve.  So we might have to stay at an apartment/hotel that allows dogs for about $60-100/night.  This isn’t so bad except Michal thinks it may take us about a month to find something we like in the area we’ll want.  So that could get pricey.  Also, apparently, to rent a flat they require 3 months rent up front.  Eek, that’s like $3500 right there.

Traveling with a child is also about ten times more difficult.  Will he buy a seat on the airplane for her? What kind of car sear should we buy that will accommodate air travel, will fit it on an airplane seat and in European cars, be front-facing as well as a rear-facing convertible since she’ll grow out of it within a few months, and doesn’t weigh a thousand pounds nor cost an arm and a leg?  How will she do on an at least 24 flight itinerary? How much bottled water for formula?  How will she and us sleep? Etc….

And don’t even get me started on what to pack.  We’ll basically be taking 2 suit cases per person (hmm this is per Michal’s input, so maybe he is planning on buying Skye a ticket so she doesn’t have to lap the whole way).  Our entire house and it’s essentials have to fit inside 6 bags: linens, clothes, shoes, coats (since we’re moving in the middle of winter and it’s cooler there), kitchen tools, few days worth of dog food, baby clothes, diapers,formula, toys, blankets…and everything else I’m forgetting.

Not to mention the fact that we have to build a half-wall downstairs for storage, find dependable renters, find someone to help maintain the renters, figure out what to do with our mail and bills we’ll still be paying on, find a cleaning service to clean in between renters and move valuables to someone’s house – yet to be determined.

Oh, and sell the car.

Oh, and hope my stomach pain doesn’t come back.

But even with this almost comical list of things to do…I’m getting more and more excited of the adventures we’ll have while there, the opportunities that may come of it, getting lost in a new culture, meeting new people and just experiencing it all with my awesome husband, beautiful daughter and our side-kick dog, Sammie.

Here are some pics from a coworker/friend that has already moved to the other side of the pond.

It started off like any other day and I went to finally check my work email around 11:30.  The agenda for the annual CA meetings was there from Friday which reminded me I needed to start preparing for my big presentation tomorrow.  I checked the agenda for the meetings and noticed that my name wasn’t on the list for tomorrow.  I got a terrible feeling in my gut.  I checked the schedule for today and saw that I was supposed to present at 2:00…  TODAY!…  In 2 1/2 hours!… Holy crap.

I was still in my pajamas, no shower, no make-up, was home alone with Skye without a car, no clean clothes that were ready, and not to mention that I hadn’t even run through the PowerPoint slide show all the way without looking at the notes.  I called Benjam and the clock started ticking.

Thankfully he was able to leave work and take care of Skye so I could take the car.  Then I focused on getting ready, finding an outfit that could pass as clean, make-up, etc.  Once Benjam got home I was so wound up I couldn’t concentrate on running through the presentation.  Thank goodness I had a half hour to sort through the notes lamely enough to “wing it”…  Wing it….  Damn, not what I would have ever suggested to anyone to do for an audience of 75 oil industry execs and scientists.

I left home at 12:45, leaving just enough time to drop off my purse at my desk.  Once I get to EGI and the place is deserted, I realize that everyone is across the street at the Marriott conference rooms.  Great, like I wasn’t nervous enough.  When I get over there I see the room and it is ginormous, the screen takes up the entire height of the wall and there are two free-standing speakers next to it.  Fabulous, I’ll be using a microphone and every quiver of my voice will not only be heard, but amplified for those in the next room to hear.  I take an empty seat at the back wall as the women before me starts her talk.  She was speaking science-ese and I could not concentrate on one word she was saying.

The minutes dragged on forever, yet counted down rapidly.  All I kept thinking was that, if I could survive 48 hours of labor induction and an emergency c-section, then I could certainly handle 30 minutes in front of a room of suits.  Another thing that calmed my nerves was when one of these gentlemen in the rear of the room where I was sitting, farted so loud it was irrefutable.  It was quite hilarious as we all sat still pretending that this man just didn’t let one rip.  No lie.

Finally it’s my turn.  I walk up to the podium, a useless podium where the microphone was taller than me just as our director handed me another microphone to attach to my shirt. I cleared my throat.  “Hello, my name is Chelsea and I’ll be giving you an overview of the Black Sea Phase 2 project.”  Cough.  Loud cough, right into the mic.  Great start.  I go through the motions of my presentation without even realizing it, so far so good.  Until I get to this one slide.  “Here is an example of isostatic residual gravity and the first vertical derivative which shows the… shows the…” …shows the what?

I completely blanked out and just sat up there for probably 30 seconds trying to think the correct phrase to finish the sentence.  It was not coming, not even close.  I could hear the humming of the lights the room was so quiet. I knew it had something to do with water, so I lamely said, shows present water!! Man, so not cool.  I finish the rest of the talk, apparently hiding my nerves fairly well and walk back to my chair.  Half-way through the next talk, the phrase comes to me… shows present day drainage basins! i wanted to stand up and yell it out to everyone.  It’s not even a complex scientific idea that I should have understandably forgotten.  Of all the things I forget, it’s drainage basins!

Ugh, well at least it’s over.  Right?

As an added cherry on top, I get pulled over on the way home.  Our registration has expired.  Of all the days for a cop to notice that they have been expired since July.  All I could do was laugh as the cop handed me the ticket.

Happy Birthday to me!

When he first proposed this to me a few years ago, we were pretty apprehensive.  Along with my mom’s poor health, Benjam’s work and trying to conceive, it didn’t seem like a good idea.  Now, I’m kinda really excited for the adventure and culture shock!

In order to elicit an interest in our Black Sea project, my boss wants me to present our work progress at our annual CA (Corporate Associates) meeting in September. We’re not talking the measly 3-5 people at our usual end of project meetings. We’re talking 30-50 head honchos of the world’s biggest oil companies. Not to mention EGI’s director looming in the back with an eager look on his face that I perform well. This isn’t just an GIS presentation either, this is a technical performance on the tectonics and structural history of the region, in addition to our database. Little ‘ol me, playing with the big boys with their big toys.

To say I’m nervous is a slight understatment. Hence my inability to fall asleep.

i mean, why can’t all the browsers stop the damn browser wars and come to an agreement on what will and will not be supported?  it seems that the w3c has been doing a good job with stating what should be standard and what should not be standard, and most browsers do a pretty god job following those standards.

except one. microsoft’s internet explorer, the number one used browser on the planet. it works the way it wants to work, and getting your site to look the way you want it to in internet explorer is like trying to teach a four year old how to fly a plane. they may get some things right, but most of the time, they budge things up so bad, you have no idea what they are trying to do. and then all of a sudden, they don’t want to do anything anymore. it is the most annoying thing on the planet, because fixing one thing breaks another and when you get it all looking good in internet explorer and then go back and open up the same page in firefox (my personal favorite and most likely the favorite browser of any self-respecting web designer / aficionado) it looks totally whacked and nothing is where it is supposed to be.

and that’s not even considering the dinosaurs out there, who just absolutely have to have thier netscape communicator 4.75, which has almost no current standards support and what it does support (obsolete and completely annoying things like ‘blink’) it supports badly or is no longer a web standard.

but that’s okay, i figure anybody using web browsers older than the wheel are probably used to things looking all messed up, or they are too computer illiterate to care.

i eagerly await the release of internet explorer 7 (which has taken several years, because microsoft, in all thier wisdom, thought, “we have the monopoly on web browsers, why fuck with it?”. that is, until firefox started taking thier precious users and microsoft just HAS to have the monopoly) because that will mean (hopefully) that interent explorer will finally have decent web standards and png support and i won’t have to keep writing several versions of the same page just to get it to look right everywhere. (but hopefully it will still be subject to the same css hacks, so in case it does mess something up, i wont have to rewrite everything to fix it.)

now all we need is to kill off the dinosaurs and we’ll be all set.

election day was yesterday and on the ballot was a constitutional amendment (#3) that changed the definition of marraige to being the union of a man and a woman. it also took away the rights of any other such union. here is the actual text of that ammendment:

(1) Marriage consists only of the legal union between a man and a woman.
(2) No other domestic union, however denominated, may be recognized as a marriage or given the same or substantially equivalent legal effect.

now, the first part in itself is severly fucked up. why?  because. who are we to say that two people who aren’t a man and woman can’t get married?  why does it make you so uncomfortable?  and why do you think that by taking away thier rights it’s going to make you feel better about yourself?  i mean, while we’re at it, why don’t we take away women’s rights, and the rights of blacks, too?  what makes a gay marraige so threataning?  is it the fact that some book says it’s a sin and therefore it must be true?  or is it something to do with the safety of children?  because lord knows that gay people can’t love a child the way straight people can *end sarcasm*.
the second part of this little two line atrosity is even worse. look at it closely. it takes away the rights of common law marraiges, for ALL PEOPLE, not just same sex couples, who now, by law, can’t get married, visit each other in the hospital, make desicions in times of emergency, and determine what is best for the person with whom they’ve shared their whole life and love with because a single sentence that just got added to the utah constitution says so. how fucked up is that?
and don’t even get me started on the damn presidential election. i mean, if i hear one more person say they hate bush, AND THEN NOT VOTE FOR KERRY?!!  wtf?  i hear it all over the place… that bush is stupid and bush is lame, and bush sucks at this and bush sucks at that…  blah blah blah…  well, you just had your chance to fix it and what did you do?  sat on your ass and moaned about it. i voted. but only two of the things i voted for passed because the rest of the people in this closed-minded, bigoted state can’t see past thier own narrow feelings.

*end venting*

sorry about that, i’m just so frustrated, and it’s not just utah, like 12 states passed similar amendments. i mean, seriously.

– insert huge topic change here –

so…  i got engaged a little while ago, kinda excited, kinda nervous, kinda swamped with school, work, and now planning for a wedding (ok, not really ‘planning’, but saying ‘okay, sure’ to ideas my fiance throws out).  it’s not like i’m super stressed right now, but there are times when i’m not quite sure where to start and it gets to me a little bit.

also just got back from disneyland where my niece had her fourth birthday, got to hang out with my sister, and my niece for a day while at California Adventure, which is way cool. Tower of Terror is awesome, i recommend it to anybody, except for you wussies out there.

i’m also working on the new corporate intranet and public site for EGI, which is pretty dang huge for a guy who only designs websites as a hobby. the site uses ColdFusion, which is a server side script not unlike php and perl. although it does have its pros and cons. pro is its simplicity, theres no distinguising between the code and the html while coding, the code merely consists of specific html ‘tags’ (for instance <cfif> </cfif>), but because of it’s simplicity, it’s also a little harder to do complex things without a superfluous amount of code.

i also designed a site for a friend of mine (soon to be brother-in-law through two marriages) at www.photmillard.com.  i really like the way the site turned out for him, i’m actually quite proud of it. it’s simple, but the backend is custom coded in php to select a different random picture from each of the various photo albums and display it as a rollover on the main page every time it is refreshed. i also re-skinned the photo album that he uses (the same php script as mine), and created all new graphics, edited css, and code.

anywho…   it’s been a while, sorry to keep everybody in the dark about what’s going on, but i been busy.
plur, lates

p.s.- you may also notice (if you frequent my blog) that the look (and script) has changed, i was forced to do this by some weinie that kept comment spamming my blog. why do people feel they have to be dickheads?  what happened to respect?

that’s a lot of stuff for one day:

• do the lab that’s due tomorrow
• work on egi stuff
• work at paulsen
• and go to lab

poopy

starting to get a little bit stressed, anybody wanna do my homework for me?

crap-on-a-stick, lates

so i did, except that the dumb thing decided that it wanted to make the new drive (freshly formatted, etc.) drive letter f ??? so i get windows all installed (all the while not knowing it was installing on drive f), which takes about an hour, and then check the thing and notice that its drive f. so i take the drive that was supposed to be f, and change it to d and try to change the new drive to drive c, but it won’t let me. but it’s okay, i’m not too pissed, just a little annoyed, cuz i can easily reformat, remove the conflicting drive, and reinstall windows, not that big a deal, except that when i remove the drive, and go to reformat, the computer doesn’t detect the hard drive !!!  OMG!  so i have to flash the BIOS, fiddle with shit, and finally get it to detect the hard drive after about a half an hour of stress. so it’s finally installing, and i’m playing on another computer, but i just wanted to let everybody know, that computers suck!  just buy ‘em and leave ‘em alone.

grrr, lates