iohelix

Um, yeah, this pretty much still sucks.

The profound sadness of losing your mom is very enduring.
The sudden loss of Mom never seems to get any easier. The reality never quite sets in deep enough to the point that I don’t think there is someway to go back and make it not so. Since I have been living back at home and see her and our childhood everywhere, she is always on my mind and her lack of presence is very heavy. On top of the grieving,  I have also been really sick from a terrible cold and the pregnancy and my heart just yells for her to come comfort me the only way a mom knows how. I feel like a child again with a boo-boo that I want my mommy to kiss better. The things she is missing from watching Skye toddle around the house just makes the sadness more intense. I find myself clinging to Skye more and the mother-daughter love that I am now without, from my one and only Mom. I too toddle around the house, staring at walls and unable to do anything productive at all. For some reason, it’s very difficult to reach-out, call, or email people back, but I appreciate everyone that has sent condolences.  

Maybe they get wifi where she is and she knows how much we completely, absolutely and whole-heartedly love and miss her.

It is the eve of our departure for our big move back home. I feel compelled to say something about our time over here, since it has been so significant. Unfortunately, circumstances have severely rendered me incapable of doing any such thing.  

My Mom passed away on Monday after a long struggle with illness. The funeral is Monday, and as such, we will be home on Saturday.

-chelsea